4chan

4chan is an Internet fever dream.

Noxious Cloud Computing

Ah, buzzwords. I generally dismiss them because they don’t really mean much and I should probably just dismiss Cloud Computing but I can’t. The term makes me angry. That might sound silly but I think it’s justified. Web 2.0, AJAX, and Long Tail are also buzzwords but they don’t make me angry. When people try to put those buzzwords into practice it’s really no big deal, they’re just subscribing to a fad and eventually it falls out of fashion. No big deal.

Cloud Computing is different. What is Cloud Computing? It’s where your processing and data is in The Cloud. What the crap is The Cloud? As a network professional I feel I’m qualified to answer this question simply, succinctly, and thoroughly. The Cloud is a symbol a network diagram. It represents The Internet. It looks like a cloud. It looks this way because the Internet is nebulous.

That’s all it is. If you’re using Cloud Computing your computing is happening out there, in that part of the diagram: the one representing The Internet. There’s one key thing that separates Cloud Computing from traditional Internet hosting and services. With traditional Internet hosting and services your pictures are on flickr or photobucket, your email is with yahoo or hotmail or gmail, and your shopping is through ebay or amazon. With those services your have more or less fixed resources and your stuff lives on some servers somewhere.

With Cloud Computing, where’s your stuff? Do you know? I hear people say, “Oh, my pictures exist in the cloud.” Well, where are they? They’re in the cloud. It seems to me that people think that in the cloud means their resources are everywhere and will be accessible from anywhere. When your stuff is in the cloud it apparently means it can never be inaccessible, or lost, or stolen.

The reality is that in the cloud means that you don’t know where your resources are. That’s not to say that you should, either. If your grandpa uses picassa for his pictures he doesn’t need to know where the files live or it’s preserved (although it’s to his benefit to be able to know how his data might be lost). Google probably doesn’t want your grandpa to know how the backend of picassa works because that might represent a security risk.

I’ll selectively borrow from Wikipedia what doesn’t challenge my rant:

In concept, it is a paradigm shift whereby details are abstracted from the users who no longer need knowledge of, expertise in, or control over the technology infrastructure “in the cloud” that supports them.

What does that mean? It means when your data is in the cloud it somewhere on the Internet and you neither know nor care where. That’s not to say it’s somehow more accessible, more available, or more secure. It just means users don’t know. And not knowing is fine but before Cloud Computing your grandpa didn’t know where his pictures were and he knows no more or no less now that Cloud Computing is here.

I guess saying Cloud Computing sounds cooler and smarter than, “On the Internet, somewhere.” What it sounds like to me is that you don’t know but either are afraid to say you don’t know or don’t realize you don’t know. I think this Cloud is really a fart - it smells terrible and will hopefully disperse soon.

Speaking of Twitter…

I’ve heard it’s pretty big in Iran, and they had a relatively unpopular fellow sworn for president having won 2/3 of the popular vote…

Twitter’s Getting DDoS’d

I wonder if the packets are 140 bytes or less.

GRRRRRARRRRRRRR! MURDER!

Why is it so hard to demonstrate to tech support people that you know what you’re talking about? I guess it’s because they normally deal with people who don’t know what they’re talking about. I’m sure a lot of those people immediately say they know what they’re talking about.

But I do. In fact, I know more than both the senior guys on the other end of the line. But I get to listen to the polite one have me conduct useless tests and the defensive one tell me my network setup is wrong when he doesn’t really have a handle on networking.

It starts when defensive guy comes to upgrade our stuff. He logs into the provider-owned router and sees some settings he doesn’t recognize so he deletes them. Doesn’t even question their existence. That device was subsequently determined unnecessary and removed but the missing functionality was never configured elsewhere as appropriate. Because the guy assumed it was a mistake and not critical configuration.

Tumblr Captures the Essence of Web 2.0

For those who aren’t indoctrinated, tumblr has a feature called “reblogging”. You see a post on another tumblr user’s blog that you like. There’s a link that says reblog. Click this and boom, it’s now on your blog with a little space on the bottom for you to say lol or wtf or this is so stupid.

As I browse the directory for some of the blogs with the highest “tumblarity” I find a common thread: they’re mostly pictures and the same pictures as you see on digg, reddit, etc and on each others’ blogs. Many of the posts you find on digg, reddit, and the like are simply references to blog posts talking about the thing that’s actually of interest.

v---<---<---<---<---<---<---<----+
+--> Tumblr Reblog Ad Nausem ->--^--> Original Tumblr ---> Twitter --> Reddit --> Random Blog -v
+--> Tumblr Reblog Ad Nausem ->--v--> Original Tumblr ---> MySpace --> Digg ----> Random Blog -+--> Actual Story
^---<---<---<---<---<---<---<----+

And this is really the essence of blogging, the essence of Web 2.0. It’s not that everyone participates in building new and exciting media. A few people make new and exciting media and others swarm around it and show it to you hoping that they can catch just the tiniest bit of fame or recognition for having brought it to you. Web 2.0 brings everyone the power to have their voice heard; puts a microphone in everyone’s hand. Alas, most people don’t have anything interesting to say but given the microphone you have to say something.

If this is Web 2.0, I think I’ll hold out for SP1.

Passive-Aggressive SSIDs

IllBroadcastOnMyAPWhatImScaredToTellYouInPerson

I’ve seen a number of these on time waster blogs like Digg and reddit. Unfortunately this is the only one I had the presence of mind to save a link for.

How lame is that? Your neighbors are loud on their balcony. Your neighbors are loud having sex. You know what they’ll do if they see this? They will be louder because all you’ll do is change your WiFi SSID to something even more lame.

You want to have a sense of smug satisfaction and have the problem stop? Walk up to their door and knock on it. Politely ask them to be more quiet. You don’t even have to threaten to call the cops. If they’re having a party they might even invite you in, especially if you bring good beer like New Castle or Fat Tire.

But all stuff like this does is show how you’re not actually going to do anything about the problem.

Half-game Downloads

It’s valuable to give you only half of what you paid for.

http://hellforge.gameriot.com/blogs/Hellforge/EA-Games-Everything-On-The-Disc-Is-A-Demo

So to foil pirates they’re only giving you half the game on the disk. The rest you have to download… having already paid for the game. This isn’t a patch or content update, this is content they just didn’t put on the disk.

Mr. Riccitello says:

So the point I’m making is, yes I think that’s the answer [to piracy]. And here’s the trick: it’s not the answer because this foils a pirate, but it’s the answer because it makes the service so valuable that in comparison the packaged good is not.

My thoughts:

The great thing about a game on a disk is that I can go to the store, buy it now, and play it now. The great thing about a downloadable game is that I don’t have to leave the house provided I’m willing to wait a bit.

This synergistically combines the worst aspects of both technologies.

So here’s an idea. To stop criminals we’ll sell handguns without firing pins. Then we’ll let you order the firing pin from our website at no charge. We have thus revolutionized the way people think about buying handguns and have added value to our website. Oh, and stopped criminals from getting firing pins somehow.

Ronald Jenkees

Yesterday I stumbled onto the YouTube channel of Ronald Jenkees. The first thing you’ll notice is that this guy looks strange and acts strangely. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a better example of how deceptive appearance and demeanor can be deceiving. When he speaks he sounds incredibly square. When he does what he does though, he melts my fucking brain.

Ronald Jenkees is a musician unlike most you’ve ever witnessed. When he describes what he does he displays a level of sincerity and humility that implies that he might not have much to show off. When he performs though, it’s unreal. My favorite video of his so far is currently the newest, with the subject I’m on iTunes! Thanks for the reviews! +NEW BEAT & Impov Jam. I considered embedding this video in the blog page but decided that I’d rather people went to his YouTube channel and checked out a few of his videos.

He has individual mp3s, and album of mp3s, and a physical CD for sale on his website. While I plan on buying a CD I can’t consider that a proper showcase of his abilities (not that I’ve listened to the CD yet). When he plays he really seems to put his soul into what he’s doing and I suspect some of that will be lost in simply listening to the songs rather than seeing him performed. Seeing him perform makes me think of one of the greek philosopher’s (Aristotle? Plato?) guide to happiness: determine what it is that you truly are and be that. When he performs, he appears to be experiencing the music at a level that I could never understand or appreciate. That being said, if you read this Ronald, you should consider live performance or at least a DVD.

So, go to his YouTube channel and check out his videos. Particularly the one mentioned above, the Podcast Intro video, the Rocky video, and the “pretend guitar” video. After that, if you like it leave him some feedback and maybe buy some mp3s or the CD.

In my opinion, this kind of thing is the birthright of the Internet. In conventional media you are either unknown or known by everyone. On the Internet you can be famous by your own efforts provided you have something significant to share.